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    4/2/2009

    不幸福。

     
    潇湘陵园人声鼎沸。时隔三年,才再次来看姥爷。碑的字迹已经脱落,红色被雨水和苔痕占满。
    就如同在姥爷去世的年月一般,我依然没有哭。却心下哽咽。
     
    南区的22排2号。这便是我姥爷了。依照童年扭捏的记忆看来,那是多么可爱的一个小老头儿亚。
    爷孙俩总挤在老房子狭小的单人床上,老爷子翘着二郎腿,大脚指头扭动着,配合抑扬的、爱唱京剧的嗓子给我说些
    神奇诡怪的故事。
     
    即使在后来,愚钝又愚钝的我啊,悄没声息的背叛了他。不知从哪里翻找出他起草的与姥姥离婚的协议,转身就交给了妈妈。
    他,依然爱我如斯。
     
    直到很久以后的现在。略微懂得情感的我才开始真正理解他,理解他企图摆脱婚姻的原因。在没有爱情存在的婚姻中,
    他这样细致的人过得有多不幸福啊。而唯一一次的反抗又被无知的我给毁了。事情过去多年后,我的父母,我的姥姥,
    都已经全然记不得此事。惟独我,还在耿耿于怀。在大学时代那些惨淡的恋情结束时,我甚至想过这是不是他的不幸福
    移交给我的不幸福呢?
     
    我在心里,又一次贴近了他。
     
     

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